i was not made for this world. its hard to exist in it, its not easy, nothing flows. Things that once made me happy no longer do. My relationship with my girlfriend is the most important thing to me and im worried it wont work out. She is so different from me and I am likely holding her back and dampening her energy. She could be so much happier with someone else. Living in a town feels wrong to me, but Ive told myself that I have to do this, if this doesnt work I cant go back to an isolated lifestyle, If i go back ill stay there till I die.