we almost broke up today, things do not feel good between us right now. she wants me to change so much. and I am not sure I can change while we're together, it feels too safe with her and I don't want to ruin things or embarrass myself while we're together. when we broke up there was a period where I was very depressed but at least I was making efforts to improve myself and put myself out there. I can see myself taking spiritual path with more growth if we separate. but maybe I can do it while we're together it's just harder to imagine