I don't know what's going on with me. I am in a different country in a tent. I don't want to put my phone down. I think I've used gaming to numb myself. gaming and drugs. and now I only have my phone. I think I will end up detoxing from it all here but it'll be a process and I think things will come up. I am afraid to sleep. I want a partner in this life. I don't like living life alone.