MargeOnFire

what do I hope to get out of this trip away from home? I want to connect with myself, meet people and develop the confidence in myself to put myself out there in a way that can be liked by others. maybe meet someone special. challenge myself. read more, get better at drawing. workout and meditation daily. post to Instagram?

running away from myself? or just need a change of scenery? or a challenge? don't know but I am going to France and idk when I'm coming back. I just want to be alone. I want time away from everything. I want to connect with myself and feel ok being alone. find co confidence in myself. I want to cry

I'm feeling kinda lonely and sad. got no one I can talk to about everything. I want to talk about everything with someone. I used to have someone and now I don't. she probably has found someone to talk to now. but I still imagine her coming back to me and thinking about her missing me and thinking she made a mistake and will want me back and realise what we had was special. but I need to forget her

why can't daddy have salt? because we love him

There is no place like someone elses home

Chinese people take it personally when you're critical of their homeland? I guess after a lifetime of indoctrination it will be instilled into the core of your person.

twigged, the past tense of to twig which is to suddenly realise, understand or catch on to something

maybe youre meant to go though times of being happy and comfortable and not much change until somthing has to change, and you enter the chaotic change period where you learn and grow and you take that into the next phase of being happy and peaceful and stability.

I am entering my silent era - expression through words is cringe

I think I'm only just accepting that it's over. I think that last meeting showed me she has moved on and she isn't coming back. I had hope before and now it's gone. took me 3 months to get over that delusion, now I'm depressed. extra depressed

just wasting my life away one game at a time.

dont know if writing my thoughts on here actually helps or just creates an echo chamber for me to exist in. But i seem to keep doing it. Nice to have an outlet i guess.

I deserve to feel like I am good enough

whore slut rot in hell belongs to the streets fuck you. I have no proof anything happened but I just assume a lot has happened and you deserve this. I'm sorry. I still love you and hate to imagine you with someone else, or multiple else's. makes me feel nauseous

WHY did i have to see that? why did i go on instagram. she is everywhere on instagram IT FUCKS ME UP. DO I HAVE TO UNFOLLOW EVERYONE? fuck off. FUCK OFF FUCK EVERYAEIHFODUISAHFUDOISHFDUAOFHJIAOSDJFASPODIOSPAIDOPASIDPOSAIODPISAPO cant deal with this. Ill calm down sorry. I just idk what to do. she is living life so well and i feel like im not and seeing her do so well without me makes me happy for her but also feel so shit about myself.

summers over, relationships over. sadness increases

I am tired of being treated like goyim

feeling extra depressed lately. like waking up late and not eating much and not having much hope for the future. feeling bad about my life. I gotta get out of this. need to climb more and get out there. do something, find a passion

depressed today.. woke up late.. cancelled on by a french girl :(

how do I opt out of these security notifications??

am I sane? I think I am. but I don't know if I have a good relationship with my body. I don't feel good in my body. working out hurts me. sitting at a computer all day, gaming, numbing out, hurts me. idk what I need to do so my body feels better and nice to be inside of.

hi gays.. lol idk. anyway what I was going to say is this is a place where my ideas go to die. I am thinking about things until it gets to something I feel like I have to remember, then rather continuing with the productive train of thought I reach for my phone, pull up notslop and write. like I am now. can't even remember the train of thought I was having before this one came up. oh yeah I remember. my whole world was my shoes and grass, just Infront of me. I was alive, my body didn't feel like a jail.

The consumption of AI feeds is ruining our domain vocabulary of albums, films, shows etc.

you know you have those little lumpy skin bits around your nipple, like chiken skin, one was getting bigger and more painful for months, past few days I was thinking it might be cancer or somthing bad and i should see a doctor. Hallelujah, there was puss all over my nipple this morning.

I love it when i hear my dog sleep barking, makes me feel all fuzzy inside. Whats little dog dreaming about?

I enjoyed the eclipse today. everyone in the UK and around Europe was looking at the same thing at the same time. and its so neutral. no politics or ideology ruining it

using relationships to placate and soothe the lack of self worth you have isn't sustainable nor fair on your partner.

dating apps help you speedrun getting over fear of rejection

I'm holding onto an idea that we will learn that we are eachother's person. This time apart may be painful but eventually being us closer. But another part tells me I need to let go completely. So conflicted and sad

I dont think im cut out for my job, without AI i could not do the work. Does that mean i shouldnt do it?

why would she tells me she still loves me? how does that help ?

met my ex today, it had been 2 months? I still love her, she said she still loves me too. But she stands by the decision to leave which hurts. I do feel a little more at ease knowing she still cares. She was worried I would burn in the middle of the night camping accidently in the middle of a forest fire.

Be willing to risk eating a bad meal

hi. be careful who you fall in love with guys.

messaging ex rn, asking to popin to popup. bad idea? yea tbh it probably is.

I need to see people this job is isolating

about to go camping on the moors! have some weed etc, faces in the trees?

i think teamtactics from riot pits you against bots on your first ranked game. I didnt buy items, never rerolled, never leveled up, kinda stoned, and easily beating everyone.

I would like this to be a place i post freely but the idea of using openai embedding models makes me not want to just feed them all this data. Ha, little late I guess, but I don't need to carry on. REMEMBER NOTE: switch to a free embedding model. (CHINA WILL BURST THIS BUBBLE)

REMEMBER NOTE: another page on here which is like a 'hot' page that shows a 3d representation of the vector space, new posts appear green, and the more comments recently it had the larger it is? or the more 'on fire' it is? idk will think more about how to represent this in a cool way.

REMEMBER NOTE: idea pics left and right of posts, left comes from one you upload or paste here (need to allow for pasting imgs). ALSO another idea, after a user posts 3 messages, we can have an AI write them their custom CSS rules based on their name and post history, and their profile pic? (should store profile pics in s3 so free to do more with them). ALSO after they sign in, lets let them upload profile pic and set username and colours from the get go.

I am lucky, i was born into a world where AI does my job. At this point in time, I do so little and have so much freedom. AI is UBI

i think i am actually alright, it was all an illusion, all this strugle and anxiety. I am actually just fine, im safe, chill out..

Instagram is very unhelpful for getting over someone. it puts them in your face anyway they can through mutuals stories

one thing I'd like to know about you is something you immediately assume about me

I miss her. x

stop looking at your ex's posts please

Anagapesis is a rare psychological and literary term meaning falling out of love, specifically the gradual fading of affection or emotional attachment toward someone you once deeply cared for.

Am i the walrus? or is someone else the walrios?

I AM THE EGG MAN, I AM THE WALRUS

hey, I think you should KRILL YOURSELF

My goal is to make my lanes win. Not for me to carry. get them ahead. leave some kills for the carries

i think i have lost my faith in humanity rn

great idea: create a site where you can upload pics of peoples dating profiles, it storeds in vector db, kinda thing, then you can post anon comments about them e.g. "not over their ex, broke up 2 months ago, dont waste time" or "avoidant af. cant talk about feelings", "cried when i kissed his cheek", "she didnt brush her teeth before bed".. etc.

@TheKerpopplenaut 4 years ago The genius of this song is how it manages to be heartfelt, heartbroken and hopeful all at once.

i think i might be too old to play fps, i cant aim for shit

eggs with salmon and avocado

I am at the point where I don't want a relationship unless it's meaningful and full of love. I don't want to date

I dont know what im doing with my life. I am just not sure what i want, but im embracing it, cant know until i try, got to move on

can i just say somthing? I am finding life quite strange rn